Ryder 5 Months

It has been 5 months since our sweet Ryderman joined the family. It feels like yesterday, and an eternity all at the same time. What did we even do before he came?

The word that most personifies Ryder is: happy. I think I can honestly say that he is the happiest baby I have ever met. He wakes up smiling and doesn't stop all day. He loves his jumper, his bouncey seat, the highchair (a new adventure) or the floor gym. Charlotte is his favorite thing in the whole wide world, though he is easily entertained by anyone. 

This was an exciting month for him, he learned how to roll over! While definitely not proficient at his new skill, he is getting dangerously close to mobility. NOOOOOO!!!!!

He is a pro at grabbing toys and bringing them to his mouth, and he ALWAYS wants something in his mouth. It is possible that he's teething, based on the chewing and the drool, but he doesn't appear to be uncomfortable, so I don't think their eruption is imminent.

His hair is growing fast! Jer and I were positive we would have all blue-eyed, blonde-haired children, and while his eyes are as blue as could be, his hair is pretty dark. It is so cute and fluffy around his ears, I just want to eat him. 

If you've been following this blog for 2 years, you might remember that we take this approach to introducing solids, and we don't start until 6 months. When Charlotte was 5 months old, I remember feeling like I would never make it, like she was starving and really wanting more food. Not the case at all with Ryder. He has shown no interest in food and seems completely satisfied with the amount of milk he is getting. 

His typical day starts around 7 with a feeding. He then plays for about an hour to an hour and a half, then back down for a nap. Repeat cycle until bedtime. His naps are getting better, but he is still occasionally plagued by the 45 minute intruder during his 3rd nap of the day. Most of the time a paci-reinsertion will get him back to sleep, but not always. He continues to be a breeze to put to sleep. Swaddle him up, give him a kiss, put him down, and he off he drifts to dreamland.  Bedtime is between 6:15 and 6:45. He is often woken up by his crazy sister when we put her to bed at 7:30, but he goes back to sleep easily. From there he sleep until about 2:00 or 3:00, eats for 8 minutes, then sleeps until 7. This week he has been waking up a little early, sometimes going back to sleep, sometimes just starting his day early.  Not sure when or how he is going to drop that night feed, but for now, I really don't mind. He is obviously hungry at that time, and I am back in bed within 10 minutes, so not much to complain about. But it does feel like he will never sleep through the night. 

The thought of weaning him off the swaddle makes me want to throw-up, but now that mobility is imminent, I'm going to have to face my fears and do it. I think the transition is going to be really difficult, but in the end, he will sleep better being able to wiggle around and get comfortable.  Maybe next week... 

Speaking of next week, I officially go back to work next week. I will be teaching another Kaplan class starting next Wednesday. The class is only 3 hours, Charlotte will be sleeping the whole time, and Ryder should sleep a big chunk of it. I'm nervous to leave of course, but I know he will be a good boy! 

We are all overwhelmed with love for this little boy. He brings so much love and joy to this house.

Christmas 2012

What a wonderful Christmas we had this year! We have always said, "when we have kids, we want to stay home on Christmas and start our own traditions." Well, this year was the start of many magical at-home Christmases.  Being our first run, I'd say we have a few adjustments to make for next year; but overall, it was so wonderful!

One of the main reasons we moved back to Redding was so our kids could grow up having strong influence from and relationship with their grandparents and family. We are already seeing the deep value in this. For me, Christmas this year illustrated the incredible blessing of living near family. Starting at 9 AM and going until after 2, we had a stream of close family coming by to celebrate the holiday. Our kids were showered with generosity and love; I thought my heart was going to explode.

Jer and I also tried our hand at home-made cinnamon rolls. A 2 day process that definitely paid off. Those will most definitely be a staple at the Pagan Family Christmas from now on.

Some highlight gifts are:
A wagon for both kids
A cash register
Lots of play food
A quiet book
Clothes and shoes
A way-too-real doll stroller
Wee-sing movie (One of my favorites as a kid)
A letter factory


This might be the best Christmas I have ever had. Even though it was a little chaotic, the chaos was joy to my heart.

Christmas takes on a whole new meaning when viewed through the eyes of children.

Pez for breakfast, Merry Christmas!

New baby carrier

Ryderman loving his Uncle Tay

He really just wants to eat her hair for Christmas 

A Song in her Heart

The Pagan house is resonating with song. Our sweet Charlotte cannot stop singing lately and my heart is exploding.  Her repertoire is expanding daily and currently includes:
ABC's
Twinkle, Twinkle
Jesus Loves Me
We Will Rock You
Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer
Frosty the Snowman
Jingle Bells

She wakes up singing, spends the entire day singing and goes to bed singing. I have turned into her personal jukebox. "Mama, sing Frosty! Mama, sing Kinkle!"

We were driving home one night and she said, "Mama, you sing ABCD and I'll sing Jesus loves me. Go." And she was serious. She wanted to conduct a round of children's songs on our ride home.

I cannot believe how much of my day I spend laughing at her. Everything she says is hilarious. She dropped a toy and exasperatedly said, "Oooohh goodness!"

She has a huge imagination and is doing really well playing on her own lately. She cooks dinner, goes to Costco with Charlie, and takes extra good care of her babies.

She is incredibly sweet to Ryder, hugging and kissing him all day long. She brings him toys and blankets.  She has never shown even a spark of jealousy. Praise God.

I go to bed each night overwhelmed by the blessing of my children.  I love them and cannot believe how lucky I am to be home with them.

Ryder-4 Months

4 months old. My baby boy is a total fatty!

15 lbs (50th %)
24.5 in (20th %)

He is the sweetest, happiest little baby, and absolutely lights up my life. You just look at him and he can't help but give you the biggest smile you have ever seen. He is incredibly ticklish and giggles whenever you touch his belly. Having his pants put on might be the highlight of his day. It is so cute that sometimes I take them off and put them back on a few times, just to listen to him giggle. 

He continues to be laid back. He naps well in his bed, and sleeps from 6:30/7-6:30/7 with one (sometimes 2) feedings. 

He loves to snuggle and sleeps well in my arms when we are out and about. I recently switched him over to my Beco carrier and he really likes it. 

He still dislikes the car, but not quite so dramatically.

He is a tummy-time master and even rolled over once (just once, so it isn't "official"). Charlotte is definitely his best friend, but any smiling face will do. 

I am one blessed Mama. As Jeremy said, "If I had a dollar for every time you said our kids are so cute, I would be a bazillionair!" 

He is so right.... I must say it 200 times a day.

No Thank You, Change

Despite the perfect, obvious timing, this blog is not about politics. It's about my 2 year old, who is making it very clear to us that she does not embrace change.

Two examples:

Big Girl Bed:

We only own one crib. I have vowed to keep it that way. So, as Ryder grows, the task of moving Charlotte out of the crib becomes necessary. For her birthday, she was gifted a toddler bed and bedding. She was ecstatic. She couldn't stop talking about her "big girl bed."  So, Sunday after the party, we took down her crib, and replaced it with the much anticipated bed.  Nap time rolls around and she willingly, no excitedly, lies down in her bed. Jer and I watched in a amazement over the video monitor as she easily drifted off to sleep. With two sleeping babies in the house, I decided to run to the store before anyone woke up.  Nap time proceeded as normal, Jer worked on the house, when out of the blue (and an hour and half too early) Charlotte, in a too-short-naptime-haze stumbles out of her room. Jer sensed her confusion and tried to get her back to bed. And then the breakdown. "No big girl bed! I don't like my big girl bed! I need my crib! May I have my crib please!" This pleading continued all afternoon and evening. Hopeful she would remember the joy of her big girl bed when story time came around, we proceeded as normal with our bedtime routine. But she would have none of that. She would not sit, or even approach her new nemesis. Hysterical, and significantly past her bedtime, Jer and I raised our white flag. So, at 8:00 PM Jer pulls out the disassembled crib and makes swift work to reassemble the prize. To cap off the night, as I'm putting my very happy and relieved toddler in her reclaimed crib, she says, "night night big girl bed!" And there you have it... She will be sleeping in her crib until high school :) 

In all reality, I'm happy to have her in her crib still. We tried to move her because she asked for it. When she realized what it meant to be in a big girl bed, she changed her mind, and we were happy to accommodate. Not all decisions in life can be taken back, but this one could. We know she will move to her bed when she is ready, and Ryder is perfectly content in the cradle. 

Potty-Training

One morning Charlotte woke up completely dry. Very excited, I asked her if she wanted to pee-pee on the potty. She was thrilled, ran to the potty and promptly peed.  But very little. Overflowing with praise, I encouraged her, and rewarded her with stickers and big girl panties. She was so proud. We came out to the living room, and less than 10 minutes later she had her first accident. To be expected, no big deal! Wrong. My poor girl was devastated, and officially traumatized. "My panties are wet! I pee-pee on my panties! I need my dipey! No more panties! I need my dipey!" And oh the tears... And so, the dipey went back on and we said good-by to panties for the time being.  Since then, she completely refuses to even sit on the potty. When asked about it she tells me, "My pee-pee is night night. I just need my dipey." (Where does she come up with this stuff?)

So we will not be pushing her. She is brilliant and I have no doubt that she will potty train and retire her crib in her own time.  Until then I will enjoy the containment and the fact that I never have to use the bathroom at WinCo.

Ryder-3 Months

A few days behind, but Ryder is now 3 months old. I love this age. He is so incredibly sweet, happy and giggly. He is a big boy, weighing in the high 13 pound range.  I love that we are starting to learn his personality. He is really easy going, will fall asleep in your arms anywhere, despite any noise or commotion. He is so happy, just look at him and he can't help but smile. His smile is so big and contagious; it looks like his face is going to burst with joy. He spends most of his day sleeping still, but he enjoys his little jungle gym or bouncey seat for about 10-15 minutes at a time. He also LOVES the Moby wrap, and usually takes his second nap of the day in it, while Charlotte plays at the park or Turtle Bay.

At home, when he is ready for a nap, just wrap him up and put him in his bed, he goes right to sleep.  When we are out, just hold him tight with his paci, and he drifts right off. His normal  day starts at 7 with a feeding. From there he is awake about an hour to hour and a half, then down for a nap until his next feeding. At night, he goes to bed at 7, never puts up a fight, and sleeps anywhere from 6-10 hours. He has yet to sleep a full 12 hours, but I keep telling myself he will get there eventually. A good night he will sleep from 7-4:30/5, on a bad night he will wake up at 1 and eat, then eat again around 4:30/5.

Today is his first day in the pac 'n play in the middle room. This is a temporary situation, until he is sleeping through the night and Charlotte is ready for her big girl bed. (That story deserves a blog in itself). They will be in the same room eventually. I decided it was time to move him because I don't trust the cradle with much more weight. I was having terrible thoughts about it collapsing on him in the middle of the night..

We are so blessed to have him in our family. I feel like I have bonding with him even faster and stronger than I did Charlotte. I just want to kiss him and squeeze him all day long. Something about doing it the second time gives you a different perspective. I know this tiny baby stage will be gone in a blink, I just want to soak up every minute with him.

Charlotte 2 Years

To my incredible daughter:

Dear Sweet Charlotte,
   Today, you turn 2 years old. I promised myself I would make it through the day without a tear shed. This is a day for rejoicing; for celebrating your beautiful life, your bright spirit. You are the most astounding 2 year old I have ever met. Your vocabulary is that of a 4 year old and your personality of a 13 year old. You are determined and driven beyond control. You are a self-starter and stubborn. You are brilliant and hilarious. And you are stunning.
   You are the perfect little mommy, spending the majority of your day rocking, and hugging and caring for your babies. You are the best big sister a little boy could want. You love and protect your brother, nothing melts my heart more than seeing your tender care toward others.
  I spent my whole life dreaming of being a mommy, but I never dreamt about my children. I never thought about what you would look like or sound like or smell like. I had no idea the gift I received the day you entered my life. You surpass any dream or expectation I may have had.
  You make me laugh everyday. Your enthusiasm for life inspires me. You make me want to be a perfect mommy. I know I never will be, or could be, but I promise to love you immeasurably until my dying day. I will encourage you and guide you, stand by your side forever. I will love your daddy and siblings and provide a safe family environment for you to grow and thrive.
  Thank you for being you, what a gift it is to me to be your mommy.

I love you baby girl,
Your adoring mommy.

Charlotte-23 Months

Well this is her last update until her 2 year birthday. Sniff. I can't believe it. Fair warning, this post may sound like I'm bragging. I assure you, I'm not. I'm writing this post (as I do every post) for my own memory. So I can look back when she's in college and remember what she was like at 23 months. You have been warned.

Charlotte is a talking maniac. From the second she wakes up, to the moment she falls asleep, she never stops talking. There isn't a person who meets her that doesn't comment on how much she talks. I often get asked if she is 3, because her verbal skills are so impressive.  I wish I could keep a little tape recorder (do they make those anymore?) in my pocket, just so I could record every little thing she says. She cracks me up all day long. I honestly can't remember a time when I didn't have a normal conversation with her. Everything is complete sentences, clear as day.

Here are some highlights:

She's recently been saying, "I need ____" which sounds demanding and rude. So I'm working with her to say, "May I have ____, please."  She has it down pat, but gets a little confused sometimes. She was standing on her slide and wanted help getting down. Yelling at me, "I need down! I need down!" I ask her, "Charlotte, how do you ask nicely?" "May I have it down please?" Close enough.

I guess I don't wear makeup often because yesterday, I got ready for church before I got her up. I walked into her room and the first thing she said when I opened the door, "Mommy wearing makeup! Mommy wearing a pretty dress! So pretty, Mommy!"

In TJ Maxx last week she found a little baby outfit and pulled it off the rack. "This one is soooo cute, Mommy! We need to buy it for brother, it is soooo cute!" She then carried it around the entire store telling everyone how cute it was.

Yesterday I had them both strapped in the car ready to leave for church. I ran back into the house to grab my phone and couldn't find it anywhere. As a last ditch effort, I went back to the car and asked Charlotte, "where is Mommy's phone?' "Ummm... it's in my fridge!" I went back in the house, opened the play kitchen fridge door, and lo and behold...my phone!


I could go on and on and on, but what I really want to remember is what a joy she is. I love talking with her, singing with her, playing with her.  She is really starting to get an imagination. She now make-believes things are there.
"I'll get Daddy's shoes!" She reaches down to the ground and pretends they are in her hand.
"I'll put them in Daddy's closet!" She runs and pretends to put them in his closet.
"I did it!"

She has so many books memorized, it's unbelievable.

She knows all her shapes (well, not all of them obviously, the basics like circle, square, triangle, rectangle, dome, semicircle. Thanks Eric Carle!)

She does not know her colors! "Charlotte, what color is this?" "Ummm...it's geen!" Everytime

She can count to 15.

She know all her animals, their corresponding noises, and their homes. (Birds live in nests, bees in hives, etc. Again, thanks Eric!)

When she gets out of the car she says, "I hold your hand, Mommy. Because there are cars and they can't see you and they hit you." (she doesn't say me a whole lot)

She still says, "Mommy, hole-lu" Which is "hold you" for when she wants to be picked up.

The other day I caught her eating dog food for the millionth time. I knelt down and firmly told her, "do not eat dog food." Her little face melted into tears and she said, "I need a hug, Mommy"

She is really bossy. "Mommy, sit right there!" "Mommy, open this!" She is always in charge of the games, and you have to play by her rules.

She plays in her crib every morning for an hour. She sings happy birthday to her dollies, plays with her monkey, and just zones out. One morning we had to be somewhere so I went and got her right when she woke up. She was lying there, with her feet propped up and her hands behind her head, I asked her, "What are you doing?" she answers, "I lounging..."

She loves her brother to death. We were out of town last weekend and she stayed with grandparents. When we got home, the first thing she said was, "Brother came back! Hi brother!" and ran over and gave him a big hug and kiss.

Ok, I better wrap this up. I love this little girl more than life itself, and cannot believe she is going to be 2 in three weeks!

2 Months

Ryder is 2 months old today. This kid is fat! And kind of short.

12 lbs 1 oz (50th%)
22 inches (25%)


It really is unbelievable how it is possible to love human being as much as you love your child. Then you have another one and you love that one just as much. Miraculous.

Ryder is such a good baby. He is really laid back, will sleep anywhere and through ANYTHING. Literally. Yell in his ear, he doesn't care. He has slept through the night 2 times now, but then went back to waking up once. It is a lot harder to keep him on a consistent routine because our life is much busier now. When I was home with just Charlotte, the world revolved around her nap schedule. Ryder has to deal with napping on the go. Sometimes I feel really guilty about this (because I feel guilty about everything) but then I realize he is happy and growing and well loved. So he doesn't get to nap in his crib all day, life could be a lot worse.

We are starting to get huge smiles from him, which of course completely melts my heart. Charlotte loves to get right in his face and say, "pile brother." (Smile)

I love watching them interact. It's just the beginning of a lifelong friendship.

A few days ago, Ryder was in his bouncy seat on the table and I went in the other room to get my shoes. I hear Charlotte yell, "uh-oh! Brother puke! Brother puke!" I come back into the dining room, and sure enough, there is puke everywhere. On the seat, the table, the floor. He exploded.  I asked Charlotte what she did and she said, "I bounced him. Not soft." At least she's honest.

He eats like a champ, clearly. He stays pretty consistent to his 3 hour schedule, with a little 2.5-3.5 hour windows here and there.

He goes to sleep so easily. When he gets tired, he lets out a little "wah." Wrap him up and put him in his cradle and he drifts off to sleep. He will also sleep in the Moby wrap, or just in my arms. So nice to not have a fussy sleeper (yet).

Because everyone needs a headband at breakfast

One month

Two Months

One Month

 Two Months

Wrapping up Summer

You wouldn't know it by looking at the thermometer, but summer is actually coming to an end. The familiar giggles and yells of kids walking past our house on their way to school is a tell-tale sign that it's time to get ready for fall.

What an incredible summer we had. I spent the first half soaking up my time as a mother of one. Charlotte and I went on daily adventures to the lake, pool, park, playdates. Anything that sounded fun (and tiring) we did!  I am so thankful we had that opportunity to spend so much quality time together. 

Right before Ryder's arrival, we spent a week in Little Rock with family. Charlotte's cousin is 2 days younger than her and they had an absolute blast playing together for the week. It was so much fun to see them getting to know each other. It was also nice to travel with only one child :)

After we got back from Little Rock, it was time to get ready for Ryder. Since I had done NOTHING in preparation for him, I had to scramble to get everything in order. Though, in reality, there was very little to be done.

We got the carseat installed, the cradle set up, and 2 weeks later, welcomed Ryder Michael into our family.

Fast forward almost 7 weeks and things have really settled in. Ryder is the most wonderful addition to our family. Charlotte absolutely adores him, and of course I'm smitten.

As far as his personality goes, it's still a little early to tell, but he seems pretty laid back so far. He sleeps through anything, because telling an almost 2 year old to be quiet is like trying to clean your desk while a fan blows on it. Just never going to happen.

At first, Jeremy and I thought he wasn't going to be as good of a sleeper as Charlotte, but he might prove us wrong after all. At 6 weeks and a few days, he dropped a night feed. Meaning, he sleeps from 7:30-7 with one feeding around 2. It seems like the early morning grunting has subsided and we are all feeling much more rested. 

His typical day is: Eat, play for about 15 minutes (Making about an hour of awake time), sleep (1.5-2 hours). Both kids go to bed at 7:30.

Ryder is up early, I feed him, bathe him, play with him and get him down for his first nap before I get Charlotte up. This is working really well because it gives me some one-on-one time with her in the mornings.

We try to do our activity for the day after Ryder's second feeding, which is around 10. Then, home for lunch and nap and whatever the evening has in store.

Charlotte's best friend just turned 2 and she has been singing Happy Birthday non-stop ever since. 

Her newest phrase is, "I need." She said to me the other day, "Mommy, I hungey, I need a snack." 

She is getting a little bossy, but luckily this is usually directed at the dog. "Abbey, move! On your bed!" She is determined and focused, which is not a huge surprise.

Incredibly blessed to be raising my babies with such wonderful friends

A quick visit from Uncle Mill and Aunt Renee 

Love to see them playing together

Auntie!

As good as gold

Hat!

The girls were much more enthusiastic about hat making than the boys

Daddy and his sleeping boy

My 2 favorite small people

4 Weeks

Time, you have done it again. You've gone and flown on by without any regard for my feelings.  Ryder has been here for 4 weeks already. But, really, hasn't he been here forever?  What was our life like without him? 

He is a pretty good baby, still sleepy newborn-ish, but slowly we are starting to learn his personality.  His tummy seems to bother him a little more than Charlotte's did, but as long as you get some major burps out of him he is pretty content. Sadly, we have another puker on our hands. Stocked up on burp cloths and ready to go through 4 shirts a day. Take heart, I know he will outgrow it eventually.

At his 2 weeks check-up (though he was almost 3 weeks):

7 lbs 10 oz

20 inches

He sleeps well during the day and night. I usually wake him up at the 3 hour mark during the day to eat. He has about 45-60 miuntes of awake time and then back to sleep. At night he goes 4 hours on the nose.  He seems more enthusiastic about eating than Charlotte was. 

(Does everything have to be a comparison?)

He is definitely a second child in his uncanny ability to sleep through toddler maulings.  Charlotte loves him, very enthusiastically. She also has no volume control.  Welcome to the family, Ryder. 

Physically, I feel great. I bounced back a lot quicker this time. I don't feel exhausted or sore. I still have 30 pounds to lose, but with Ryder's help, it should come off in no time. 

Breastfeeding: Through the Eyes of a Toddler

One of the big question marks I had while I was pregnant with Ryder was how Charlotte would react to him breastfeeding. It hasn't been all that long since she has been weaned, I just didn't know what to expect or how she would behave.  A new breastfeeding relationship takes a lot of time and effort, and I wasn't sure how I was going to balance that with a busy toddler. Well, I am happy to report things are going swimmingly. I have Ryder on a nice routine that enables me to nurse him almost exclusively while she sleeps or Jeremy is home.  She only really has to survive one mid-morning feed on her own.  And by on her own I mean climbing all over me and kissing Ryder while he eats.

It didn't take her any time at all to understand the whole process. Her interpretation of everything is hilarious.  Every time I sit down to nurse Ryder we have this conversation:

"Baby drinking the milk!"
"Mommy lid off (a breast pad is now formally known as a lid)"
"Baby all done!"
"Mommy milk lotion on! (Lanolin)"
"Mommy lid back on!"
"Burping the baby!"
"Have it? (Can I hold him?)"

So, one of my big trepidations has been tackled and overcome. Nursing a newborn while managing a busy toddler is doable and not nearly as daunting as I imagined it might be. Ryder is also significantly faster than Charlotte was in the beginning, which is extremely helpful.

To all the nursing mothers out there: Don't forget to put your lid back on!

And Then There Were Two

Week one as a family of four.  Time! Slow down!!! My brand new baby is 7 whole days already!

We have had an incredible week filled with wonderful visits from friends and family, dinner deliveries, even a trip to the pool.

Before Ryder's arrival I was filled with doubt and worry. Every mother goes through it. How can I love another baby? I'm so sad to lose my one-on-one time with Charlotte. I don't want to start all over, Charlotte has come so far!

Wrong, wrong, wrong! Ryder is the biggest blessing this family has received since Charlotte. I love him instantly and powerfully. The way only a mother can love her child. And I still love Charlotte just as much. Maybe a little more? To see her become a big sister has been incredible.

Charlotte absolutely adores her new baby brother. Despite our best efforts to teach her his name, he will forever be "Baby Tummy" in her eyes. She hugs, and kisses, and pets, and ogles over him all day long. She brings him his pacifier, she says, "It's okay Baby Tummy" when he cries. She has been on her best behavior, not a tear shed in at least 2 days. She has been listening and following instructions better than ever. I have had plenty of one-on-one time with her and don't feel like she is being slightly one bit. I have yet to miss a bedtime.

Ryder is the best baby.  So content to observe his new world. So tolerant of big sister constantly climbing and patting. He eats well, sleeps well and snuggles perfectly.

I officially LOVE  having a newborn in the house.  I love getting up and feeding him at night. In the quiet house, just the two of us. I stare at him and cry tears of love and joy. I snuggle him, and smell him, and eventually force myself to put him back to bed.