Feeling Sad

I just stumbled across the most tragic blog.  A family of 4 was in a head on collision. Everyone suffered terrible injuries, and their 18 month didn't survive.

As I scrolled through the archives, with tears in my eyes, I came across a specific blog that showed the youngest boy, at 11 months, in a forward facing toddler seat.  Specifically pointing out that he was flipped forward too soon.

I spend a lot of time reading about car seat safety, about the fact that infants and toddlers are 500% safer in rear facing seats, but those are all just numbers and statistics until you see the face of tragedy.

I am not one for soap boxes, but this story just crushes me.  Would this precious baby have survived if he were in the proper seat?

Why I am afraid to speak up and tell people. I am so fearful of offending someone, but what if I had known that family? What if I knew they turned him early, and I didn't say anything? This is not a judgmental observation in the slightest. It is my genuine sorrow and sadness for this family. No one deserves to suffer so greatly.

Babies and toddler's spines are weak, not fused and strong like adults. That is why they are at such a higher risk for spinal separation during a car accident.

Please, put your baby's safety ahead of their comfort. I don't want to come across another blog like this.

That Was Fun! Let's Do It Again!

Hooray! The cat is out of proverbial bag! I can finally update my blog to include our newest family member. That's right, in case you missed it, the Pagan clan is growing!  Baby #2 (lovingly called Booboo2 at the moment) is set to make his/her appearance in about 6 months!

So here's the pregnancy catch-up.

When Charlotte turned 1, Jeremy and I decided to let nature take its course and see if/when Booboo2 would enter our family. After a year of trying for Charlotte and 2 rounds of Clomid, we both agreed it would most likely take a few months.  Wrong.  After one month, I was shocked and elated to see two beautiful blue lines on that stick.

It was the day before Thanksgiving that I got my first positive test.  Being the patient person I am, I tested 5 days before I was supposed to. So, imagine my shock when I saw that faint second line.  Of course, we were both skeptical, considering you had to do some eye gymnastics just to see it. But, in my heart, I knew it was there. Over the next week I continued to burn through my $0.60 tests and anxiously watched as that beautiful second line got darker and darker each day. After over a week of positive tests, Jeremy was finally convinced I was indeed pregnant.

Now, knowing the shocking statistics about early miscarriage, Jeremy and I tend to keep pregnancy news to ourselves until the second trimester. So I had a looooonnnnngggg wait ahead of me.  But, I stayed very distracted with Charlotte and the holidays, and before I knew it, we were heading in for our 12 week ultrasound.

Anxious and excited, I sat in the Dr.'s office waiting for that reassurance.  And that is exactly what I received. Up on the screen pops a beautiful, perfectly healthy, little baby bean.  Dr. gave me a clear bill of health (after last traumatic birth) said everything looks wonderful, and sent us on our merry way.

And merry I was!

I am incredibly blessed to experience next to no pregnancy symptoms. No sickness, nausea, food aversion, etc.  Which, again is a complete blessing, but can lead one to question one's state of pregnancy. "How can there be a person growing inside me and I feel absolutely nothing?"  So until I see that little bean on the screen, it really doesn't feel believable.

Back at Christmas, when I knew I was pregnant, but not ready to announce it, I decided to hold off on our Christmas cards until the news could become public.  So instead, we sent a Valentine's card sharing our excitement. Our spectacular cousin took some adorable pictures of Charlotte for us to use. The cards turned out perfectly and I was so thrilled to send them to all our friends and family.

So, there you have it, first trimester in a nutshell.  Onto bigger (no pun intended) and better things!

The First Yuck

We have been extremely blessed to have a very healthy baby. Charlotte has made it nearly 15 months with not much more than the occasional snotty nose. Until now.

3 Sundays ago (The Sunday before Christmas, almost 4 weeks now), Charlotte woke up snotty. I didn't think much about it, other than whether or not her health status was worthy of the nursery. Figuring it was just the common cold, I let it ride its course. But the course just kept going, and going, and going. And then, almost 4 weeks later, she started spiking fevers, still coughing and congested.  I waved my white flag and called the doc. The most wonderful family doctor you could ever hope for.  He agreed this illness had conquered the common cold and would need additional artillery.

So, for the first time, we went into the doctor for a sick-baby visit. The news was bleak: 103 temp, lost weight, double ear infection, and a sinus infection. My heart broke. She was none too fond of the appointment. Big crocodile tears and all.  I'm relieved I didn't join her in the crying!

And then, for the first time, I stood in line at the pharmacy, sick baby on my hip, waiting to fill her antibiotic prescription.

I know this will be the first of many trips to the doc, but every "first" is memorable. And this is no exception.

She has been handling everything like a trooper. Not much complaining, still sleeping pretty well.

I wish I could wave a wand and make her all better, but I am thankful for modern medicine and the fact that we haven't had to employ it until now.

Praying to have my happy, healthy baby back in the next few days.