Mysteries of Motherhood

Charlotte is such a mystery to me. I think this is the hardest part of mothering to me thus far: not know what the heck is going on with her. Right now, our biggest struggle is bedtime away from home.  Thursday night house church has been hit or miss for the past few months. Some nights she did pretty well, but recently things have not been going to smoothly. It seems like I have tried it all, and what works one week, doesn't work the next. Then, on Saturday night we had dinner at my grandma's and Charlotte went to bed without a peep and proceeded to sleep through a very loud dinner party. Come Thursday, I do everything exactly the same way and she cries the whole time. What gives?  All I want to do is know the problem and fix it, but that's just not possible. It's hard when your baby doesn't cooperate. Maybe there isn't anything to "fix," maybe it's just a matter of sticking with it and letting her grow out of it. It feels like you are a bad mother and you have a "bad" baby. I just want to tell everyone, "No really, she isn't like this. She is really a good baby!" And of course, she is a good baby. The best any mom could ever ask for. And for whatever reason, she has a hard time sleeping away from her own crib.  Except on Saturdays. Maybe we could move Thursday nights to Saturdays and everything would be better! Well, back to the drawing board. What new thing will I try next week? Maybe the pac 'n play in the closet is too scary, next week I'll try a different room. That will probably work. Once. And then the following week she'll lose it again. Such is the cycle. One day she will beg me to go spend the night with her best friend Evelyn and I will remind her how much she hates sleeping at the Shepard's.