I will be 38 weeks on Monday and it feels very surreal. I delivered Charlotte at 38+1, meaning this baby would be here Tuesday. BUT...I don't feel like that is going to happen this time.
Overall, this has been another incredible pregnancy. I really can't believe how little time I have left. I am essentially comfortable, though it takes me longer to get up off the floor, and the task does involve some involuntary grunting. I am still sleeping well and have plenty of energy to keep up with Charlotte.
The most significant difference is the baby's movement. This kid literally NEVER stops moving. I honestly don't remember Charlotte moving hardly at all. I would sit on the couch and wait for that solitary kick; this kid is borderline annoying (though I would never actually admit that!) because it is so miraculous to feel a person moving inside you.
I've had 2 OB visit so far that involve cervical checks. No need to go into detail, but things are moving right along.
The house is pretty much ready for baby, a few odds and ends left, but other than that...
It is so much different this time around. Not knowing the gender of the baby has really impeded my nesting, though I have found plenty of other healthy outlets (you're welcome for the bath, Abbey). I essentially have a few days worth of onsies for boy and girl washed and ready to go. Once baby is here we will start getting all the things out.
So here's my big confession, a true moment of honesty: (I am writing this down, so I can look back and see how God worked everything out in the end) I am genuinely nervous about loving this baby. I KNOW it will come, and my love will multiply like I never imagined, but right now, I am having such a hard time believing that. I had no idea how much I would/could love Charlotte, and it seems physically impossible to love another human even half as much. I am grieving the loss of our time together, the loss of her babyhood. She has become such a big girl over the past 21 months, and bringing a new baby into the home will solidify her status as "big girl." I really can't wait to hold and love this baby, but for now, I just want to hold and rock my toddler.
Speaking of my toddler, I will add a post about her tomorrow. She is so hilarious!
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| 37 +1 weeks. |
1 comment:
You're looking so good Kelly. I can relate as I had my first 2 21 months apart. I remember feeling sad that I had robbed my oldest of their time in the sun. I remember wondering truly if I could love another human the way I loved my first baby. I know you've heard it, but I think it will surprise you just how MUCH you will love this one, and RIGHT AWAY. In an instant, that baby will be yours and if I am right, HE will just totally be so different from her which will make you love him uniquely and even more. I am so excited for you in this new chapter of life. At the time, I thought having 2 kids so close together was nuts. Now, I would NEVER have traded it. My boys are best friends and that makes my heart melt. Here's to a new adventure Kelly!
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